In this piece ignited by The Unbound Press story sharing sessions I share with you a piece about a time in my life that changed me for ever…

Experimenting with TOO MUCH…how often are we held back from fully expressing ourselves. Being too much or not being enough

I’ve been stuck in here for months.

I can’t breathe

Hello

I am here

The lack of air is sucking all my energy away. I was once vibrant.

I was once vibrating.

I was a vibrator.

I am a vibrator.

Why am I stuck here?

Butterflies. Ann Summers chose to pop pretty butterflies on the vibrator I chose. When I got with him though. He didn’t like vibrators. He didn’t like hairs on my legs. He didn’t like my singing.

Champagne anyone?

Vulgar the vibrator (that’s not its name btw!) that’s what he thought of it. So I used my toothbrush instead. On days when I needed to SCREAM (see story day 1 I was born to scream.) Release. Let my sensual sex pulsate I used my toothbrush.

Now I wish I had used HIS!

Ha ha, that’s what you were thinking right beautiful being?

SIDE NOTE - this was a vibrating toothbrush you know the kind?

Right now so I was going to marry a man whom I didn’t have sex with. Who didn’t find me attractive? Whom in my womb, not you there no…no…no

Champagne anyone?

Ok, bare with me as this is pouring right from me like a fountain.

UP NOTE - this is what my vibrator taught me to do - SQUIRT.

Oh, am I too much for you?

Bloody brilliant. To be too much. I am telling you.

When you have been boxed in. Restricted. To then bounce out of the box like BOING big fucking fat BOING BOING BOING…

BACKWARDS NOTE - is that what he wanted me to do to bounce on him?

FLOUNCE

NO POUNCE

FLACID - it's me I said. I can get better at this. Taking the blame.

Living from shame.

TOO MUCH NOTE - God knows what he would have done if I had squirted on his tongue (ahhh now that is too much and I am loving it.)

So there was this one time…in my life that I was going to marry a man whom I didn’t have sex with. Whom I hid my vibrator in the attic for. Whom I slowly died inside for.

Died? Too much again?

Ok

I slowly hid myself for

Champagne anyone?

Then the week before we moved into this gorgeous home. Stunning home. And we had decided to start a family. Our family. He broke me.

Broke up with me.

We broke up.

Broken.

This time though I was so relieved. As I could be me again. Find me.

Mission find Natalie began and of course…

The butterflies found their way to freedom too…

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