5 ways to heal from a break up and discover a new approach to finding true love

Breaking up is hard to do… I was 33 life was fantastic I had found my perfect home with my perfect fiancée and we had decided to have our perfect family…

Two weeks later I was single and in rented accommodation with 8 new house mates! My life had turned upside down. The dream of being married and having children - gone. 

But I knew deep within my soul that this was a blessing. It was my time to wake up. And my lesson was to concentrate on my needs. I realised that no one else could make me happy - only I could be responsible for that. 

I began questioning myself, braving the silence and facing the truths. Meditating and using healing as a way to connect with myself.

Today I want to offer you 5 ways to help you cope with loosing love so you heal old wounds and start to approach love with fresh eyes:

Keep trusting that the right thing is happening for you even though the situation is hurting you so much. 

My first few weeks as you can image were filled with tears. I didn’t want to be around anyone. After finishing work everyday  I just loved to nestle In my new and cosy room watching Downton Abbey! 

Invite in the tears and face your fears 

The lesson here for me was that I had to invite in the tears. The more I cried the closer I got to the core of what exactly it was I was crying over. 

It turned out it wasn’t the loss of that specific person I was crying for. I was crying as I was scared to be alone. Yet there I was happy to be alone in my bed. I felt safe and so I used this time and space to face my fear of being alone at 33. The thing that helped me the most was a gentle routine during the week and walks in field at the weekend. 

At my loneliest I would remove myself from my room and go and make myself buy some nice food. Cook a new recipe. Open a nice bottle of wine and share it with my roommates all 8 of them sometimes. I would also take the time to have a lovely bath and be so grateful for my new dwellings - the old farmhouse was a dream and so cosy and fun to live in. 

Forgive your part in the old relationship so you can then begin to move on. 

As I began turning the situation around I began to accept it for what it was. I realised I had been grasping onto a false impression of this relationship just so I could feel safe. But this was incorrect. Love is unconditional and when someone really loves you they never force change they just do truly accept you for who you are. 

Let go of all past stories and negative habits holding you back.

The best way I found to do this was by listening to my language and finding repetitive patterns in my speech. I also began to research books that could help with this aspect of my healing. Living Magically by Gill Edwards helped me so much and I also loved ready Pia Melodies book The Intimacy Factor. I also re read The 5 languages of love by Gary Chapman. 

Once I had found the negative patterns in my language I would write down the negative sentence on the left side of my journal/notebook and then on the right hand side write a positive statement. Even if I didn’t believe it I would read this list of positive sentences to life my energy and help my whole being to start to believe I was worth so much more than I had previously though 

What I began to receive was truly incredible. 

Accept. Forgive. Move on 

A few months later my sister asked me to go work for her it was my summer holidays from my teaching and an extra £1000 was truly appreciated. This money then funded a dream for me which was to go on a yoga retreat in Ibiza. 

If I had still been in the relationship I never would have gone on that life changing adventure. I began to reconnect with who I was born to be here on planet Earth. I realised I was very free spirited and I realised how easy it was for me to make connections with people and make them laugh. 

I was a mouse in my previous relationship. I was a very sexual being but I want having sex. I was trying to continually fix something which was broken. It just wasn’t meant to be and by pushing and pushing I wasn’t being honest and truthful to me. 

During this whole process I felt scared, alive and a new sense of connection to my identity. It was incredible. And when love did walk in I was totally awake inside and ready for the ride of a life time.